Coping Skills for Anxiety: 2nd of 4 in the “How to deal with anxiety” series from a Madison, WI Anxiety Therapist
This blogs series, “How to deal with anxiety,” covers the following four topics:
Coping skills for anxiety
Recently I wrote about what anxiety feels like. Today I’m going to talk about the second in the series, coping skills for anxiety during more intense anxiety.
These skills are for times when anxiety hits you hard, and you find it difficult to continue with the tasks in front of you.
Below is an overview of just a few techniques that many people have found helpful. These techniques can be helpful on their own. In addition, the benefits are amplified when used in combination with long-term anxiety management, including therapy for anxiety, and getting to the root of your anxiety.
Get Back in the Present: Coping with Anxiety using Grounding
When anxiety hits with intensity, part of what that means is that you don’t feel entirely in the present moment anymore. Grounding involves using techniques to help bring you back to the present moment. There are many different ways to do this, and today I’ll talk about two categories: physical grounding and mental grounding. As you read through, try out the skills as we go along.
Coping with anxiety using physical grounding
Notice your feet on the floor
Using physical grounding to cope with anxiety can be as simple as noticing your feet on the floor. Becoming aware of your feet on the floor is something you can do anywhere, without anyone knowing what you’re doing. (And even if they did, maybe it would help them too!)
Notice how you’re supported by your feet.
Notice which foot feels more supported than the other.
Now notice which part of that foot feels the most supported.
How was it to bring your awareness to the ways that you are supported? What shifts do you notice in yourself?
Notice textures
Using physical grounding can also use feeling textures. Especially if you’re an HSP, textures can be really helpful in both bringing you back to the present and calming you down. Start with noticing what textures are touching your skin right now. Are they rough or smooth? Warm or cool? Heavy or light? Here we are simply noticing characteristics of the textures, not how you feel about them. This helps get you back in the present moment.
How was it to bring your awareness to the textures surrounding you? What shifts do you notice in yourself?
54321: Use all five senses
Actively using your senses is the foundation of grounding. Sight, smell, sound, touch, and taste are very much in the present moment. Here’s an exercise called “5, 4, 3, 2, 1”:
5 - Name five things you can see.
They could be a tree outside your window, a book, your phone, anything around you. If you are blind, name what you either imagine or know to be around you. Name what shape the objects are, how big or small, what colors.
4 - Name four things you can feel.
This could be the chair beneath you, or something you can feel with your hands like your sweater, the fabric the couch, or a glass of water. What do these things feel like? Name whether they are soft, firm, rough, smooth, warm, cool.
3 - Name three things you can hear.
Maybe the air conditioner is whirring, or there is a car nearby, or a bird. If it’s hard to hear anything nearby, try extending your hearing farther away. If you are deaf, name vibrations that you can feel.
2 - Name two things you can smell.
These may not be as obvious, but think about the smell of your hair or clothing. You can experiment with this so that you always have something near you that you can smell.
Cloves is a common scent that people use for grounding since it is so pungent.
Cloves are also small enough that you can easily carry it with you. (Be aware that over time it will eat away at plastic.) Essential oils and lotions can also bring us back to the present. They can also have the added bonus of being soothing, especially if you’re an HSP.
One caveat in actively using your sense of smell for grounding. Scent especially is powerful in bringing us back to the present. Conversely, it can also be powerful in reminding us of the past. Stay aware of any scents that do the opposite of what you are trying to achieve in grounding yourself.
1 - Name one thing you can taste.
You may have a cough drop handy, or a stick of gum. Even plain water can have different tastes, depending on whether it’s filtered or tap, in a plastic bottle or metal one. If you are not able to taste anything in the moment, name one thing you would like to be able to taste right now. Is it sweet or sour, spicy or mild, subtle or full of flavor?
Coping with anxiety using mental grounding
Mental grounding uses actively engaging your mind and mental capacity to bring you out of intense anxiety and back into the present. A few examples:
Name as many cities starting with A as you can think of
Count backwards from 100 by 7’s
Name as many vegetables as you can think of
Spell whatever words come into your head backwards
Got the idea?
Coping with Anxiety using Breathing
Using breathing to bring yourself into the present can be tricky. Some people calm down within seconds of doing deep breathing. Other times doing deep breathing can increase your anxiety, especially if part of your anxiety includes difficulty breathing. Even focusing on your breath can sometimes increase your anxiety.
When you’re feeling really anxious, here is a way of breathing that is less likely to increase your anxiety.
Take a normal breath in - not a deep belly breath, and not longer than your usual inhale. Then, when you exhale, breathe out for 2-3 times as long as you breathed in. It can help to breathe out through your mouth on this one, and purse your lips to slow the breath.
Keep practicing your coping skills for anxiety
Coping skills for anxiety takes practice and observation. Some skills you will hate and some will resonate. Play with them, figure out what works best for you. It might change over time and in different situations. Some people find mental grounding more effective than physical grounding for example. Any of these things will take time to practice before you see a significant beneficial effect. You might want to try other body-based techniques like Progressive Muscle Relaxation. If all of this feels like too much at once, start with taking tiny mental health breaks throughout the day.
Be as patient as you can with yourself. If you struggle with anxiety more than you would like, or if it feels like these coping skills are not enough, find a therapist who can help.
Working with an anxiety therapist can really help in getting to the root of your anxiety, which is my next topic in the “How to deal with anxiety” series.
About the Author
Based in Madison, WI, I created Bronwyn Shiffer Psychotherapy in order to support women struggling with depression and anxiety. I work with women via online therapy in Wisconsin and Massachusetts. Counseling for anxiety is a process, as is depression therapy and therapy for HSPs. Using coping skills for anxiety is just the beginning.
Looking for more support in coping with your anxiety?