How to cope with winter depression: Thoughts from a Madison, WI depression counselor
Winter, like everything else, has the potential to bring both coziness and despair. (But really, there is a lot of potential for despair when your nose hairs freeze every time you go outside. Not to mention having to keep cat litter in the trunk in case you get stuck in an icy parking spot.) If despair is anywhere in sight, winter welcomes it with open arms. It feels impossible to snuggle up and watch the snow.
I’m a counselor for depression in Madison, WI. I know about the shorter days, less sunlight. Frozen landscapes. Dread of isolation. Loneliness showing up around every corner. Sure, you would love to enjoy the snow on the trees and delight in hearing it crunching under your feet. You’ve got plenty of warm sweaters and cozy blankets. People talk about space for hibernating, reflecting - you used to do this, you thrive on reflection. Children are making snow people and laughing - did you do that once? Where did delight go? Joy seems to have run away, leaving only bleakness and depletion.
How to get through winter depression:
the Goal is Comfort
Especially in the harshness of winter, comfort does not come naturally. Everything takes so much more effort. Making sure the bathroom is warm before you shower. Giving yourself at least an extra 15 minutes to scrape the car off in the morning. Planning trips not during a snowstorm. Walking really, really slowly - or not at all - outside on the icy sidewalks and parking lots.
And yet there are things you love about winter.
Wool sweaters, hot chocolate, sunlight making snow on the trees sparkle, walking on a frozen lake, slippers. How maddening that these seem out of reach now.
The actions create the feelings
You know what comfort feels like, otherwise you wouldn’t long for it. Somewhere you have been soothed, rocked, held. And that feeling is nowhere near now. Even acknowledging the longing brings a cringe, feelings of being small and weak.
That longing is important, listen to it. You are stronger for following it.
I once heard a story of a couple that was having a rough patch, and one of the partners did not feel the same love that she had felt initially for her partner. So she made a cup of coffee for her partner every morning, even though she didn’t feel the kindness or love that she wanted to feel. Eventually she was able to find some of the feelings she had felt before. (I’m sure it wasn’t quite that cut and dry, but you get the point. Sometimes the actions create the feelings.)
Coping with seasonal depression:
Focus on the sensory
I know, you can barely get out of bed (especially in the dark) - you don’t want to hear that you need to go for a run three times a week. So I won’t tell you that. Let’s start with something more basic. Sensory soothing is a great place to start and can have significant benefits. (And if you’re a Highly Sensitive person, sights, sounds, textures and smells can make or break you. So let’s try to help them make you.)
Coping with seasonal depression using
Textures
You are still (most of the time) getting dressed in the morning - what clothes make you feel cozy? Those soft leggings and the alpaca socks? That turtleneck you’ve had for years? Your grandmother’s sweater? You are lying on the couch a lot - what textures give you comfort? The afghan your great-aunt made for you? The really soft fur of your cat’s neck? Find those textures, and feel them as often as you can. Wear the comfort clothes whenever possible, even if it’s an old soft t-shirt underneath your work clothes.
Coping with seasonal depression using
Music
Music can be deeply healing. HSPs especially can be profoundly moved by music. (And be careful on this one so that it doesn’t move into sad music that makes you ruminate. It’s a fine line.) What sounds make you feel at home? The Flower Duet? Sounds of the ocean on the white noise station? Handel’s Messiah? The Pandora Yoga station? Put those CDs in your car, make a playlist of them, listen to them before bed. Surround yourself with those sounds.
Coping with seasonal depression using
Scents
Another powerful mood-changer. (If you’re Highly Sensitive, you know how irritated you get when the neighbor uses those scented dryer sheets.) What smells do you love? Coffee in the morning? Lavender essential oil? Rose lotion? If you can’t bring yourself to take a hot bath, at least open the bottle of essential oil or bubble bath and breathe in the scent. Or take five minutes after your shower to slather on your favorite lotion and give yourself a foot massage. You can even notice the points that trigger the most relaxation.
Coping with seasonal depression using
Sights
Visuals are the first to be overstimulating, so skip it if closing your eyes is more helpful. Sometimes though, drinking in a landscape - real or a photo - can soothe us.
What calms you
when you look at it?
A flowering geranium or amaryllis on the window sill? A picture of the ocean? The photo of you as a 5-year-old on the couch with your grandfather reading you a book? Fresh snow before it has any footprints in it? Have a go-to for something you love that you can look at every day.
Do the things that are comforting, over and over. Follow the longing. Even if you don’t feel like it. Even if it doesn’t make you feel better right away. The acts will help create the feeling. That’s where delight might be found.
A Clinical Social Worker and owner of a private practice for psychotherapy in Madison, WI, I love supporting women in getting through winter depression (literally and metaphorically).
Overcoming depression is possible, and there is hope for HSP depression, too.
Whether it’s depression therapy, therapy for anxiety, or HSP therapy, I provide online therapy for women living in Wisconsin. I’m also licensed in Massachusetts - also an area with long winters - and offer virtual therapy in Massachusetts. Looking for support to get through winter depression?