Five Benefits of being Highly Sensitive
It’s not the first thing you think about yourself. Most likely the default is along the lines of, “What is wrong with me?” You’ve heard “Why are you so sensitive?” and “Stop overreacting, not everything means something!” or “I have no idea what you’re talking about, how are you bothered by those dryer sheets - I love that smell!”
There is nothing wrong with you. High Sensitivity is a trait you’re born with. You have a different brain, and it means there are all kinds of wonderful things about you. As an HSP therapist, I can tell you you’re not alone.
The ability to see the benefits of being highly sensitive gets harder if you’re struggling with HSP depression. And considering the possibility of thriving as an HSP? It feels nearly impossible. If reading about benefits of being an HSP feels like nails on a chalkboard, don’t sweat it. Save this one for later. If the depression piece is drowning everything else out, be gentle with yourself and know that you can come back to noticing HSP benefits after spending some time overcoming depression.
But if you’re curious, take a minute to consider that not only is there nothing wrong with you, you have gifts that other people don’t.
Benefit of being Highly Sensitive #1: More Joy
You already knew that you feel pain more acutely than other people. But did you know that you also feel joy more intensely too? It’s true!
You get more pleasure out of things than non-HSPs - your joy, euphoria and delight are amplified.
Think about that when you are biting into a juicy pear, or feeling the sun on your face, or admiring a sprig of lilacs. Revel in pleasure - it helps balance out the depth of pain you feel.
Benefit of being Highly Sensitive #2: Conscientious Thought
Not everyone’s default is to think before acting, this is a special part of your HSP trait. It may take you longer than most people to make a decision, but when you do, it’s a really good decision! You consider all the angles, the short- and long-term consequences, the many options: What does the community need? How would it affect both the CEO and the front desk manager? How would my partner feel if I were to do this? Is it socially, environmentally, and financially sustainable? How will I feel in 10 years about this?
The time it takes you to process things is not for nothing. People may not like that you spend time pondering, assessing, and thinking through. However, they absolutely value the results you come up with. It’s a package deal, as Elaine Aron says - you can’t get the sound decision or answer without the time for processing. And it’s worth it.
Benefit of being Highly Sensitive #3:
More Intuition and Perception
You notice the details. People feel known, understood and valued by you. (They will also seek you out to make sure the shade of blue in the carpet matches the shade of blue in the couch.) It’s part of who you are to pay attention and file away what kind of gift someone might appreciate. And when you sense something is “off,” it usually is.
This high perception ties into that heightened joy we were talking about earlier.
When you smell a rose you feel that scent, it fills you up.
The right texture against your skin, the smell of fresh bread, or your favorite music playlist - all these things can send your spirit soaring.
Benefit of being Highly Sensitive #4:
More Empathy
Without empathy - the ability to put yourself in another’s shoes - communities would fall apart. Psychologists Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman talk about empathy as having three parts: taking the perspective of another, actually feeling what they are feeling, and being moved to help. Empathy has been getting a bit more press in recent years, which is wonderful. Having and expressing empathy is a skill that can be taught. Some classrooms are teaching empathy as part of the curriculum.
As Neil deGrasse Tyson who says, “Part of our formal education should be training in empathy. Imagine how different the world would be if, in fact, it were 'reading, writing, arithmetic, empathy.'”
You have more empathy, biologically. HSPs have more active mirror neurons, the ones where empathy originates. Ask your loved ones how much they value the deep empathy they get from you. My guess is more than you might imagine. People also appreciate you because they can bring problems to you knowing that you don’t immediately jump to a fix-it mode. Rather, you have the skill of taking in their experience, using your deep listening skills. You are keeping communities strong.
You use your empathy to feel more connected. You are tuned into your loved ones’ joys and sorrows, exquisitely. You notice when they are celebrating, grieving, disappointed and excited. Sharing and acknowledging their experiences weaves connectedness, and you thrive on that!
Benefit of being Highly Sensitive #5:
Exquisite Attention
My chiropractor calls it “exquisite attention,” which I love.
The attention that you give to other people, the well-attuned awareness of other people’s experience, is truly exquisite.
Your exquisite attention might feel second-nature to you, since you have lived with it your whole life. In fact it is a complex skill that other people spend a lot of time trying to emulate. Think about it. What you are taking in in your interactions includes a great awareness of nuanced details. When you give someone your exquisite attention, you are using a wealth of empathy and imagining what they feel like. You are taking in all the messages they are giving you - verbal and nonverbal - using your ability to process things deeply. That’s a lot to be doing all at once!
Guess what else? Even though you are most practiced at giving your exquisite attention to other people, you can offer it to yourself. Try giving yourself the same empathy, awareness, and attention that you give so well to others. It will only increase your self-awareness, and you flourish with deep self-awareness. Knowing yourself better also leads to getting your unique and nuanced needs met. Getting your needs met means more ease, and more fulfillment.
These are just a starting point - remind yourself of these often. And take note of all the others!
About the Author
Psychotherapist and owner of Bronwyn Shiffer Psychotherapy based in Madison, WI, I love reminding myself of the benefits of being an HSP. I also love seeing evidence of these benefits in women I work with in therapy.
I provide online therapy for women living in Wisconsin, virtual therapy in Massachusetts, online therapy in Washington, DC, therapy for HSPs, depression therapy and counseling for anxiety.
Interested in creating more space for claiming your whole self?