Meditation mantras for anxiety: Tips from an Anxiety Therapist in Madison, WI
Rethinking “You are safe” in meditation for anxiety
You may have tried many coping skills for anxiety during intense anxiety. Or experimented with long term coping strategies for anxiety and anxiety therapy to help decrease overall anxiety. If you have tried any of these, I am going to bet that you have tried meditation at least once. And I’m going to guess that it was for one reason or another frustrating. But I’m not actually here to tell you to meditate. If you are excited about it and want to do it, great! It can be wonderfully helpful. What I want to talk about is something that might be a barrier for you in meditation, guided meditation specifically.
Pay attention to what comes up when you hear meditations for anxiety
If you’ve ever looked up a guided meditation on youtube, you have likely come across one that used a phrase having to do with safety. When you hear phrases like “You are safe” “Everything will be ok” “All is well” - how do you feel? Comforted? Furious? Worried? No reaction is wrong. Pay attention to what comes up though - it’s probably telling you something.
What’s underneath the reaction you have to hearing a phrase like that? Is your safety actually compromised because of an identity like your race or gender? Do you perhaps generally feel safe and the negative reaction you had surprised you?
Our life experiences have a lot to do with how we react in the world, as do our social locations and identities. Your reaction to any of those phrases is no different - it matters who we are and what we’ve been through.
If you are surprised by your reaction, do you have a sense as to what is surprising about it? Have you had experiences in the past where your safety has been threatened that you can remember? Maybe you have no idea where the reaction is coming from, and that’s ok too. Our brains file things away from the minute we are born, and some of those files are really hard to access with words. Some of these feelings might be related to what anxiety feels like.
Meditation mantras for anxiety: Pat phrases may not be the answer
You are smart enough to know that everything is not always ok, not all is ultimately well. You’ve seen history, lived life, and watched enough news to know that people are not always kind. People do terrible things, accidents happen, and systems are set up to keep most people unsafe. So how can you get through those guided meditations without wanting to throw your phone out the window?
It might not be helpful to hear “you are safe” if you either are not safe or don’t feel safe. This doesn’t mean you can’t increase how safe you are or feel, but it might be that a pat phrase isn’t going to do either for you. You don’t have to keep all the phrases from the guided meditations. Use them as that, a guide, not words set in stone.
Create your own meditation mantra for anxiety
A goal of guided meditations is to increase your inner sense of strength.
If hearing “you are safe” or “all is well” makes you feel less safe (or rageful), try replacing it with something else that feels more true. Use this as an opportunity to remind yourself of your strengths and to connect with your resilience. What qualities do you have that you appreciate? What do you like about yourself? What strengths have you used in the past to get you through? Use those words to create your own meditation mantra for anxiety: “I am flexible, passionate, smart….” you fill in the blank. If it’s too much to personalize it, start with “I am strong” or “I am resilient.”
Notice your reaction to your mantra for anxiety
If you’re having a negative reaction to any of the new phrases too, this is completely normal. As Buddhist teacher Kaira Jewel Lingo says, the practice of meditation includes making space for all the parts of ourselves. A part of you might feel more calm during meditation. Another part might find itself having a wandering mind, or be angry that you’re sitting for so long. Another part of yourself might feel undeserving of feeling calm and peaceful. Try making space for all these reactions, without pushing them away.
If you’re creating your own meditation mantra for anxiety, it needs to feel authentic. First, you could find ways it’s actually true. Part of your reaction is likely that you don’t believe you are actually strong or resilient. So, find the evidence. It is there, I promise you.
Find at least one way you are strong and resilient.
Use that to consider that there are many more ways that you are strong and resilient. This will help you connect with your strength and resilience when you say them during the guided meditations.
If you’re still having a negative reaction, again, this is completely normal. Keep noticing that and being curious about it. The goal is not to make all of your reactions positive. Even so, you could also try leaning into the part of you that wants to feel strong. It’s ok if you’re not there yet, and kudos to you for being real. Try saying “I want to feel strong.” I guarantee you already are strong. For example, it takes strength to move further into your authentic self. And part of that is taking the time you are taking right now, to read this blog. I know - easy for me to say and really hard for you to feel. But I believe it.
Safety is a big topic and can get pretty intense pretty fast. Take a minute to check in with yourself. Move your body. Do something you love. Keep noticing ways that you are strong.
About the Author
I’m a psychotherapist who squirms whenever I hear “You are safe” in a guided meditation.
I created Bronwyn Shiffer Psychotherapy to support women who want to claim their strength via online therapy in Wisconsin. I’m also licensed in Massachusetts and provide virtual therapy in Massachusetts. Want some help connecting with your strength? Therapy for anxiety can help support you.