Notice What Nourishes You: Tip #3 in the How to Thrive as a Highly Sensitive Person series
Welcome to the third tip in the How to Thrive as a Highly Sensitive Person series! I’m Bronwyn, a Massachusetts therapist for Highly Sensitive women. (My clients also live in Wisconsin and Washington, DC.) I like to focus on five tips that HSPs can turn to in order to live into their gifts:
Reclaim the word “sensitive”
Protect your time
Pay attention to what nourishes you
Continue to learn about the HSP trait
I’ve written about the power of reclaiming the word “sensitive” and the fact that protecting your time can help keep your nervous system calm. Today I’ll dive into knowing what nourishes you so that you can rejuvenate after overwhelm.
Why do Highly Sensitive People need to rejuvenate themselves?
Part of the HSP trait is the reality that HSP brains take in more information than non-HSP brains. Research shows that an HSP brain has a more active insula. The insula is the part of the brain that takes in awareness about our physical bodies, our emotions, and what’s around us. It processes a lot of information! Because HSP brains are taking in more information, they are more easily overstimulated. It doesn’t take as much stimulation to overwhelm an HSP brain as it does a non-HSP brain.
There are things you can do as an HSP to reduce the amount of stimulation and overwhelm that you experience. However, it’s impossible to eliminate it completely. (So try not to blame yourself when it happens.)
When you do become overwhelmed, you can go to any of the things that nourish you.
This helps calm your frazzled nervous system and gives your brain a chance to reset.
Nourishment comes in many different forms. Sometimes you might need to calm yourself down after feeling overwhelmed. Other times you may be able to give yourself a boost by engaging in activities that light you up.
How to nourish your HSP self: What is soothing to you?
Sometimes you have those days where your dog woke you up early, work threw you curve balls and you didn’t get any breaks. At the end of those days, what will settle you back down? Where do you feel most at home? What textures, scents, and sounds feel comforting to you? Hot baths are a go-to for lots of people, but they don’t work for everyone. Snuggling with your cat? Closing the door and lighting candles? Giving yourself a foot massage with your favorite lavender lotion?
It might not be obvious to you at first.
It’s common that HSPs haven’t spent a lot of time paying attention to what they need because they are biologically wired to consider other people first.
You don’t have to write an essay on what you need. Start by keeping the questions in mind. Notice what works for you and what doesn’t. HSPs are experts at noticing things! Over time you’ll hone in on the best things for you. (And spoiler, those things will also change! So your skills of noticing will come in handy for life.)
What allows you to breathe a sigh of relief? What makes your shoulders relax? If you have a pet, being around them can be really effective in calming you down. Yoga, walks, meditation, quiet time alone and music are other common ways that HSPs soothe themselves. You’ll find your own.
How to nourish your HSP self: What makes you feel the most alive?
The more you can do the things you love, the more you are shoring yourself up to weather the times of overstimulation. What excites you? What activities are energizing? What makes you smile? Where do you find joy?
You may not be practiced at paying attention to this. Part of being an HSP means that you notice what other people are feeling and needing. This can come at the expense of ignoring your own needs. As with finding things that are soothing, it’s a muscle you can exercise. Keep asking yourself the questions of what you love. You’ll continue to get a better sense. Be patient with yourself when it feels frustrating.
Remember, one of the benefits of your High Sensitivity is that HSPs get more enjoyment out of things than non-HSPs. It will take effort to connect with what makes you feel alive. But when you do, know that you are experiencing more joy!
About the Author
I’m a therapist for Highly Sensitive People and owner of Bronwyn Shiffer Psychotherapy.
I love supporting women to connect with soothing and engage in activities they love.
In addition to HSP therapy, I also provide counseling for depression and anxiety therapy. I provide online therapy in Massachusetts including the Greater Boston area. My clients also work with me via telehealth therapy in Washington, DC and virtual therapy in Wisconsin.