5 Tips on How to Thrive as a Highly Sensitive Person
Hello! I’m Bronwyn, a Massachuesetts HSP therapist. Recently I was interviewed about how to thrive as a Highly Sensitive person for Authority Magazine. Related to that, today I’m focusing on five ways to thrive as a Highly Sensitive Person.
1. Redefine and reclaim the word “sensitive”
In our white patriarchal culture, sensitivity is something we have been made to be ashamed of. I’m sure you’ve been told to stop being so sensitive, or had people tell you you’re “too sensitive” as an insult. Sensitivity is not rewarded in this United States.
We need to talk back to that, to claim sensitivity as the strength and gift that it is and not anything to be ashamed of.
Easier said than done, I know! It takes a lot of effort to reclaim something that connects to painful experiences. It’s work to go against the mainstream. Fun fact: research on HSPs done by Dr. Elaine Aron shows that other cultures actually value sensitive traits!
The world needs empathy. The world needs conscientious thinkers. The world needs people who care. The world needs people who want to make a difference. The world needs sensitivity, whether it realizes it or not.
The point here is definitely not to live with more empathy, or respond to more people’s needs, or whatever may feel taxing. Instead, ask yourself how you would like to define sensitivity. Do you agree with the messages you’ve been given? If not, what do you believe instead?
Work on claiming your sensitivity and defining it as a strength. Reclaiming the word “sensitive” can help clear out the shame messages and make room for pride.
2. Protect your time
One of your needs as a Highly Sensitive Person is more downtime. This means you need more time to be quiet and alone. It also means you need more time for transitions, and more breaks to reset and prevent overstimulation. (The breaks don’t have to be complicated! Even a one minute pause can go a long way.)
When we get enough down time, we can engage deeply and enjoy the things we love. When we say yes to too many things, we aren’t able to give adequate attention or get enjoyment from anything we are doing. No one has the capacity to say yes to everything, and especially Highly Sensitive People.
You can protect your time by being mindful of your schedule and giving yourself permission to say no.
Take the time to assess your capacity. How many things you have planned each day, each week? Do you have the energy to add anything to that? Sustaining days that are overly full takes a toll on your nervous system. Try doing the hard work of assessing what you have room for before you crash.
3. Pay attention to what nourishes you
It’s because your insula is more active, which means you’re always processing more information than non-HSPs. You can do a lot to minimize the amount of overstimulation you experience. But you won’t be able to eliminate it completely.
For this reason, it’s important to know what you can turn to that will nourish you. What excites you? What makes you feel alive? What textures are soothing to you? What music calms you down? What scents are energizing? Find out what those are and engage with them often.
HSPs are generally not as practiced at paying attention to their own needs as they are to the needs of others. Be patient with yourself. Just keep the questions in mind. Over time you will notice more and more.
4. Practice grounding techniques
HSPs have a great gift of empathy. It’s a gift, and also something to protect. Greater capacity for empathy doesn’t always feel like a gift when you’re taking in the pain of the world. At those moments, it’s easy to feel bowled over by your empathy.
Practicing some kind of grounding techniques helps buffer your very active empathy.
Grounding techniques can help you feel more connected to yourself at times when your empathy pulls you away. They can also refocus your attention on the things around you that are supporting you: the floor, the ground, the earth, anything in nature.
There are many ways to practice grounding techniques. It could be your favorite guided meditation, body awareness exercises, or present time grounding. The simplest is just noticing your feet, the part of your body that grounds you to the earth. Some people like to imagine a protective shield around themselves so they can really monitor what energy they are taking in.
When you find the ones that feel the most natural for you, practice them regularly so that it becomes second-nature to you.
5. Trust yourself and know that it’s possible to thrive as a Highly Sensitive Person
If you’re reading this and thinking, that is impossible, you might as well tell me I can fly to the moon - don’t give up quite yet. It will take time. It will take lots of support and effort! And, it is entirely possible. Read Elaine Aron’s books. Find other HSPs. Read about the four identifying characteristics of a Highly Sensitive Person. Learn more about how psychotherapy is great for HSPs. Work with a therapist who knows about the HSP trait. Listen to HSP podcasts. Experiment. Practice. It will happen, you will thrive.
About the Author
I meet with women who think it’s impossible to thrive as an HSP do just that.
Massachusetts HSP therapist and owner of Bronwyn Shiffer Psychotherapy based in Madison, WI, I provide online therapy for women living in Wisconsin, therapy for depression, anxiety therapy, online therapy in Massachusetts, and virtual therapy in Washington, DC.
Whether it’s HSP depression, feeling overwhelmed by emotions, or not getting your HSP needs met that is holding you back, thriving as a highly sensitive person is absolutely possible.
Looking for more support in thriving as an HSP?